Friday 11/8/11 – Sat 12/8/11
Arrived in Chicago in the afternoon, unloaded the countless luggage at Hyatt and.. collapsed in the hotel.
I decided to trade another city sightseeing tour for a hot bath with Harpers Bazaar in one hand a cup of coffee in the other. Blissful hour.. Hyatt in Chicago uses cosmetics with something resembling frankincense, very acquired taste when it comes to fragrance, as it’s heavy, mostly used in churches to get rid of bad spirits. That could be why I really like it.. :-/

The biggest ketchup bottle

When you look up “10 things to do in Chicago” in Google, it comes with next to nothing. There is a park, Michigan lake and the Hancock Center. And Milwaukee, if like me you are Polish. I have been there a good few years back, but I don’t suppose it has changed that much. It’s the heart of polish district in Chicago. Believe it or not, there are still many Poles, who have been living there for years, most of their life in fact, but don’t speak a word of English.

The choice of our evening entertainment looked pretty obvious. The Hancock Center is situated a short, 10 min walk from the hotel, at 875 N. Michigan Ave. I used to be the tallest building in the World, outside of NYC, but with the latest competitors from the Arab countries, it’s falling well behind.
But it would not be America if it was not bigger, faster, stronger in something. So.. The Observatory has Chicago’s only open-air SkyWalk and also features a free multimedia tour in six languages, narrated by actor David Schwimmer. From January to March, the Hancock Observatory also offers what the building management claims to be the world’s highest ice skating rink, using a synthetic surface that will enable the use of standard ice skates at normal room temperature. The 44th-floor sky lobby features America’s highest indoor swimming pool..

The Largest Gift Shop..

As this pattern repeats itself wherever you go in America, it makes me wonder. Is it country v country equivalent of an interaction between someone with deeply embedded issues v a confident individual? I reminds me of my work colleagues from when I was working for a finance company, who constantly played a competition who’s got a bigger cock. Mostly settling it by throwing a pile of cash neatly rolled when the bar bill arrived, and the size of the roll did matter then. If the piles where even, the person with more expensive cufflinks win.

So America is the guy who is trying to prove to another guys, that their cock is bigger. Fact. They can send more troops to any war, regardless whether is has anything to do with them or not. Directly or indirectly. Largest malls, largest water parks, largest national parks, ketchup bottles and chairs..

The biggest chair..

So does that mean America really is not that confident in it’s own grandeur that it needs to come up with the most bizarre records to cover up the fact, that it’s history is not comparable with Europe, that America’s IQ is a standing joke and aspiring politicians do not know the names of the country’s founding fathers? Is it time for USA to worry and get all shy and for all Americans to hide in the darkest corner of Alaska?

Well.. No. The proud owner of the World’s largest cock (13.5 inches if you are really interested.. ), Jonah Falcon is.. yup, American.